Sith Business
by Skulls
Summary: What happens when the Sith try to make it in show business? CHAOS thats what!


Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or anything I mention in this story.

A lone Sith infiltrator flew towards Earth and landed in the Warner Brothers studio. The loading ramp lowered and Darth Maul came out and stretched and yawned. "About time we took a vacation, taking over the universe is hard work" said Darth Sideous behind Maul. "Tell me about it" said Darth Vader also stepping out of the ship. "Uh man that was a long ride" said Count Dooku. Just then a director from Warner Brothers stopped in front of them. "You guys are perfect! You are going to be stars by the end of the day." He said. And that's how it all began.

'The Sithpranos'

The Sith sat in the Mafia headquarters when suddenly the Mafia boss burst in the room. Darth Maul looked at him "What are you looking at" he asked aggressively. Suddenly Maul jumped up activated his lightsaber and killed the mafia guy. "Cut! Maul what did I tell you about killing the actors?" said the director. Maul put his head down and was all sad and stuff.

' Harry Potter and the prisoner of Sithkaban'

"Expecto Patronum" yelled Harry as the dementors floated around him. Then Sideous came with a wire attached to his back and it was hauling him around the obviously fake set. "Ohh crap" yelled Sideous as the wire broke and he fell on top of Harry. "Cut! Come on Sideous you are the perfect dementor especially with that cloak of yours" he said.

'The Sith Apprentice'

The Sith crew sat in a dark room at a conference table. Donald Trump sat at the head of the table. "Count Dooku, you're fired" he said. "Fired! Why you little" and Count Dooku zapped Donald with force lightning. "Now who's fired now you little prick" said Dooku and Donald died. "Cut!"

'Sith Park'

Vader was standing in the snow as Cartman walked up to him. "You know your about the ugliest #$ #$ $& I ever did see I'm glad you're wearing a mask" said Cartman then suddenly Cartman grabbed his throat as if something invisible was choking him. Then Cartman fell and died. "Cut, Cut, Cut!"

'The Sithsons'

Bart walked up to Vader "Homer your fat" he said. "Why you little" said Vader and used the force to choke Bart like Homer usually does. "Perfect take Vader!" said the Director.

'F.I.E.N.D.S'

Ross walked in the apartment "Hey guys I just woke up next to this beautiful woman this morning" he said. Darth Maul grinned evilly; he used the force to play a mind trick on Ross. "(You will tell everyone your darkest secret)" he said waving his hand. "(Everyone I have a secret to tell you I am the gayest faggy fag ever, I just pretend I'm straight, I'm actually secretly in love with Joey" Ross said. Joey was shocked and ran out of the room crying like a little girl. Audience Laughs

F.R.I.E.N.D.S theme song plays

It shows the actors that play in friends and it comes to Darth Maul's name and it shows Maul killing Jedi with his lightsaber, he turns to the camera and grins. Then at the part where the actors are in that fountain Maul jumps up and kills David Schwimmer. "CUT CUT CUT, Maul I know a lot of people hate Ross but that was totally uncalled for!"

'Who Wants to be a Sith'

"Alright Sideous for the million dollar question: How many fingers am I holding behind my back? Is it

A: 2 B:4

C:8 D:57

"I would have to go with C Final answer" Sideous said. " I'm so sorry Sideous the correct answer was D" said Meredith "What the Hell! You only have 10 fingers!" exclaimed Sideous. Then Sideous jumped up "Obey me!" Sideous said and zapped Meredith with force lightning. "Not Again!" groaned the director.

'S-Unit'

It showed the Sith crew all Gd up. Then G-Unit came up. Then 50 Cent busted a flow on the Sith crew. They activated their lightsabers, and 15 minutes later all the members of G-unit were dismembered "Dammit guys when are you ever going to learn?" said the Director.

'SSI'

"Oh man look at this dead body we need an expert to solve this murder" said the CSI crew. Then Darth Vader showed up "What's the problem?" asked Vader. "We need to solve this murder" said CSI people. Vader looked at the body "Oh this guy? I killed him yesterday, said something about my mother" said Vader. CSI crews eyes grew wide.

'Darthy'

"Okay kids gather around" said Sideous sitting in a plastic yellow chair surrounded by kids. They started to sing "I hate you, you hate me, I'll kill your entire family, with a WHIP CRACK give your dog their bones now go now and run home" they sung. Then Michael Jackson moon walked on stage and kidnapped a 5 year old boy. "Hey what the hell get back here you perverted bastard" said Sideous and ran after him, finally Sideous caught up with him and zapped him with force lightning, Michael's hair caught on fire and he ran in circles. "That'll teach you" said Sideous.

'Jerry Sither'

"Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!" shouted the audience. "Okay today's topic is 'I am an evil Sith and I want to take over the universe' and please give a warm welcome to today's guests, Darth Maul; Darth Sideous; Darth Vader; and Count Dooku" said Jerry Springer. The audience cheered as the 4 Sith walked on stage and sat down. "Now first to you Maul you describe yourself as aggressive, evil, and murderous why is that?" asked Jerry. Maul just stared at Jerry in the eyes without blinking. "Uh we'll get back to you on that" said Jerry nervously. Then Jerry saw Maul mouth the words 'You die after the show'. "Uh, on to you Sideous, you describe yourself as evil, controlling, and intelligent why?" he asked. "Well Jerry it started with my parents along time ago…"

10 hours later…

"And that is why I am the way I am" said Sideous. Jerry was asleep but the bodyguard guy slapped Jerry on the back of the head. Jerry woke with a start. "Uh yeah that was interesting" said Jerry. "Now we have just received news that Darth Vader has slept with your wife Count Dooku" said Jerry. "Why you little bleep bleep bleep " screamed Dooku and jumped on Vader and tried to hit him. "What the hell you idiot! You don't HAVE a wife" said Vader. Dooku got up and thought for a moment then he looked like he realized something "oh yeah" Dooku said calmly and sat down in his chair. "Well that's all the time we have for today, and today's moral is if you are an evil Sith trying to make it in show business, you're an idiot, goodnight everyone see you next time" said Jerry.

The End


End file.
